October Milestones

While we were ttc, it seemed like life moved so slow and I was always waiting for something to happen. Like I was at a constant standstill. Like waiting for the next dr. appt, waiting for the next cycle, waiting for the next surgery, etc. It was hard not to fast forward and the movie Click really helped me with that concept, but it was still really hard to be patient.

Now that Lily is here, it seems like life is just flying by like a kite in tornado and I'm trying to soak in all the moments and slow everything down to a standstill. It's a crazy feeling to think back to that turtle-like pace life and not miss it one bit because it was so raw and heartbreaking, but that time also helps to put everything in perspective knowing nothing will ever be as hard as that time.

Nothing.

Because of that, I'm finding myself actually a little thankful for those 4 years of pain and heartache. Just a little.

She makes everything okay. 19 months later, I still can't believe she's here when there were times I lost faith and never knew we'd ever have a baby. I never fast forwarded to after the newborn phase (like walking, talking, playing, interacting) so this is all new dreams fulfilled, just gravy on the mashed potatoes. In her monthly picture, she's wearing new jammies from Grandma that reads "Dance. Smile. Dream." I think those are her 3 favorite things to do. Mine too. Thanks Grams!



and our little Lils is quite the talker lately and it's blowing my mind. Truly mind blowing. That's all I can say. Asking for what she wants and what she doesn't want. Actually showing her opinions about what she likes and dislikes. (big eyes) What? in? the? World? (tried to blow up this page, not sure if u can read milestones)
Translation if u can't read above:

--Said “owl” and “moon”. --Said “Brady” and “Help”. --Blows own nose. --Said “bus” and “Doctor”. --Pats own back while coughing. --Looks for moon all times of the day. --Covers mouth when coughing. --Taught friend sign language. --Said “What’s That?”. --Said “Bi-Fi” for “butterfly”. --Said “bye-bye”. --Said “mommy help”. --Falls to the ground tantrum. --Said “purple”. --“names 10 shapes”. --Said “mine”. --Said “diaper”. --Ate entire paper napkin. --Made up sign for “help”. --Asks to slow dance.

And our little Minnie Mouse has developed a borderline obsession with Grandpa. Ever since her Halloween fall, she's wanted him and only him when he's around. Follows him around with hands up in the air saying "up, up, up" or with a book as a lure for his lap. Be. still. my. heart. The other night, we were putting her to bed as he was at the door. I was walking upstairs with her half asleep on my shoulder, nuk in, heavy breathing and body in my arms as David answered the door and letting dad in. Well, once she got one look at him, you'd think we pinched her awake because she shot her head up, THREW the nuk clear across the room like she was disgusted with it, wanting nothing to do with it, and started crying with her arms outreached towards him. Ha.lare.ee.us! After some snuggles, she was ready for "nigh-nigh", but just had to get her Grandpa fix.





in other random news, Lily was intent on stacking these creamers by herself and got these 7 on top of each other without any help from mom or dad. She'd clap after each creamer was added. We always bring her "restaurant backpack" full of special toys, but who needs those when you have coffee creamers and jellies to stack? ha


and a random picture from her teacher showing us our favorite part of Lily: (think that's Leah in the background)




I can't tell if she looks scared, busted or shy here, but it's cute either way. (no, she's not in time out jan-ha)


She pinched her finger today in the dresser and came running to me, crying hard with arms up, saying "up" with her big blue tear-filled pleading eyes looking to me for kisses and comfort. I kissed her finger over and over, held her so tight, rocking her, telling her it'd be okay, how much I loved her and I could feel her sigh of relief as the pain disappeared and she laid on my shoulder longer than usual until she fell fast asleep in my arms like a newborn. She fell asleep out of nowhere in the middle of the day and it was heavenly. We laid together, as she slept heavily on my chest like a newborn and I knew I had made everything okay in her world. I had stopped the pain and made it disappear like a magician. I had hugged, loved, and kissed all her boo boos away and she was perfectly content.

Little did she know she has done the same thing for me. Time and time again.

An Overdue Thank You

This post is long overdue and has been in my drafts since 10/12 if that tells you anything. Sometimes words fail me so I put it off until they come. Well they never came, but I'm still posting.

It's a post to Allison and her family in thanks for GRACIOUSLY letting us hang at the Hyatt when they were there at their timeshare for a week and then let us use their enormous 2 bedroom, 2 bath plush condo at the Hyatt since their stay had to be cut short for business for their allocated time. (gasping for air, begging for oxygen mask)

It's no secret the Hyatt is my favorite place on earth, but to be given use of the amentities for days on end and then to actually stay there makes me wanna dial 911 for help!

So it's no surprise that we spent some amazing time together and wanted to...


even Calhan was in on the fun...sweetest little baby who just smiles for miles... I don't think he has a crying gene in his body...


and little Chase was all smiles too, always kind, loving and happy just to be alive no matter where he was...



and cute Liam who loves to play and had such a sweet heart, always making sure Lily felt included




a little game of shuffleboard between Allison's dad and grandson Chase. Allison's parents have always been the coolest, nicest, most involved parents who love their kids and grandkids with every fiber in their being...





Lily was trying to be one of the boys playing football...






we traded naps in the pack n play for naps swaying in the hammock. I think this is definitely the meaning of utopia...


then up and ready to play some more...





have i mentioned she's obsessed with bubbles? It was one of her first 2-syllable words and now we know why...top right picture makes me so smile out loud.


and lots of this for everyone...


Lily loves to run around a corner and surprise you like no one knows she's coming but her....it's her little secret and she comes bounding around the corner and laughs so hard every. single. time. Sometimes she holds her belly because she's laughing so hard. Like she can't contain herself.



until she realized she was busted and we surprised her...





then there were some midnight walks where Lily follows the moon like a stalker, pointing and saying moon over and over. If the moon is behind clouds, she looks around puzzled, then waves and say "moon-bye-bye" in the sweetest little voice ever. I've never heard a voice so high pitched. It's so little and cute.




and boy does this little person like to people watch! Sometimes I wanna say "Lils, take a picture it lasts longer". The other day, a man was walking with crutches and a cast and she pointed and said "boo-boo" pretty loud. I was half embarrassed and half stunned she put that altogether.

She saw a boo boo on my foot (which still hurts btw Wy) and she "mommy boo-boo" and kissed it. Should I pass out now or later?

Then we were eating outside and a gust of wind blew napkins everywhere and she simply said one little word I've never heard her say that I couldn't believe.

(insert lots of shocked enthusiasm) "Woah"

She said "woah". I don't know why it struck me as so funny, but laughed harder than I should have and realize everyday I'm peeling back the layers of who she is becoming right before my eyes and I just love the person she is. Feeling overwhelmed lately with the disbelief that God has trusted me enough to help raise this little soul into her own person and what an honor that is. I wanna do right by her. Of course I'm proud of her, but I want her to be proud of me too.



So thank you Zimmer Family for being so incredibly warm and loving , once again, allowing us to share in your family trips, whether it be to Club Med or the Hyatt we are forever grateful and feeling blessed I became friends with Allison when I was 12 years old and how lucky I felt when she wrote at the end of her dedicated page in my yearbook the usual "Stay sweet, don't ever change, Love your 1st BFF" knowing I'd done something right in this world.

Disney Anyone?

I don't know about you, but I suddenly have a hankering to go to Disney World. Maybe even see a parade there...I know just the helper...




On our way out the door, we had a major spill on the driveway leaving Minnie Mouse with a not so nice goose egg as a Halloween souvenier. There were tears from both of us and she wailed in pain, but after some time with the boo-boo bunny, she was up and running.




She only wanted Grandpa after her fall and that almost made me fall over from the cuteness.


My camera completely died (insert halloween panic attack with ghoulish screams and immediate call to Nikon for 3rd time in 6 months, gr!) right after these pictures so I wasn't able to get as many pictures as I wanted(I smell a reshoot), but I still got some cute ones of Minnie Mouse and made me crave one of those Minnie Mouse ice cream pops like this

that used to be my favorite until Mindy Alpert choked on an MickeyMouse ear in HS and got the heimlich from the AP and shot an ear across the cafeteria. Wow, where'd that memory come from? Well, I was scarred from that experience, but I think the wounds have healed over now with some help from Lily Grace.


Reliving the holidays through Lily's eyes is even more enjoyable when I experienced them as a child. She adds that spark of magic to everything just by being her.

And being here.

Life is good!

Lily Wishes You a Happy Halloween

I'm only 18 months old, but Im learning to write with mommy's help. She said lots of people out there love me and prayed reely hard for me to bee here. I think that's perty nice of you. Did you know I went to the pumpkin patch with my famlee? I wanted to eat my hands the whole time instead of the pumpkin seeds.


Look how little I was last year at the pumpkin patch. Wow, now I know how I got the nickname "little person"



What happened to all of my hair and where were all of my teeth?




I really like my fingers lately. It makes my teefers feel better. Mommy even cot me sucking my thumb the other day like she used to.




Even my cuzin Katie was there this time. She is so much fun to bee with. She plays with me ALL the time and can make me laugh the really big deep belly laugh. Sometimes I get the hiccups after we play together because she makes me laugh so much. She's really nice to me too when I cry. She never gets mad at me and thinks I'm pretty special. I want to be like her when I am 11 years old.




I went inside for some cooler air and look who I ran into. I feel like my love cup keeps getting filled up everywhere I tern.


Then we read some books about Holloween. Isn't my cousin Grace pretty? She's almost 4. She's a really big girl and berry nice. She shares her clothes with me all of the time. Here, I'm wearing her dress and she's wearing Cousin Katie's dress. Isn't that cool? I'm still learning how to share and sometimes it's hard for me, but Grace helps me.



Then my school had a hat parade where I got to sit with all of my friends from the big and little classes and be like one of the big kids. I felt super special and waved a lot.



I even got to walk a little too. I told you I really like my fingers.



Some of my mommy's friends saw me too and were giddy with excitement waving and yelling my name.



My shirt actually glows in the dark! Isn't that cool?


I'm really excited about twick or treating this year. Last year mommy and daddy had to carry me from door to door, but now I'm a big girl and can walk. I still might want to hold their hand if I feel shy. They said that's okay with them. I think they really like me.

Ok, I'm goin to go put on my costume now. Mommy says I have to wash beehind the ears before we go.



Well, my chubby fingers are getting tired. I reely hope you have a Happy Halloween and find the perfect pumpkin today


and it's your most favorite-ist of all.

I wuv you so much,
Lily Grace

Happy Anniversary!

They say who you marry determines 90% of your happiness or misery in life and I couldn't agree more. I don't think I realized how true this statement was when I walked down the aisle 8 years ago,


10-27-01


and look, we haven't aged a bit...ha! (nose growing profusely)


but after the ups and downs life has thrown at us, I thank God everyday that we're on the same team to enjoy this wild ride. He is incredibly loyal, kind, makes me laugh everyday, is my rock and soft place to fall, my friend, and always puts "his girls" first. For that I am humbled, thankful and will never forget 11 years ago when my sister Molly said to me "you've got to meet this guy David; you 2 would be a great couple". Thanks Molly for going through what you had to go through to be the matchmaker. ;)

Then Molly met her own little cutie and was married 1 year 1 day later than us so we went to celebrate our anniversaries together for the best mexican I've ever eaten (guacamole was made from scratch tableside as in they cut the avocados right in front of us-gasp)

then David and I headed to see the funniest comedian on this planet Jerry Seinfeld.
If he's ever in a 400 mile radius of you, go to see him! You'll be glad you did (& so will your abs).

And from this little marriage 8 years ago came the cutest little person we were so very blessed to call ours and who reminds us that even when the daily grind can, well grind away, she always shows us how to ...


for that I am forever grateful and content in this imperfect, but perfect love we call ours.

Happy Anniversary David! Thank you for being the reason for 90% of the happiness in my life.

Home, School and Everything In Between

With both of us working full-time, it makes our time with Lily that much more precious and kicks our quality time with her into overdrive. I came home from the store and did some spying on my 2 favorite people...this was taken behind the glass sliders and I only wish I had them both mic'd up to hear all the details of their plan. I always imagined David would be an involved and good daddy, but their bond is like nothing I ever expected. When we were trying for years to get pg, I used to dream of seeing/hearing them together and I guess I didn't dream big enough. He makes me a better mom.


working hard on a tower of blocks they eventually got as high as Lily is tall...


I could've watched them for hours...until I got busted...and then joined in on the reindeer games...



So I got the bright idea and pulled out some art supplies, but something went terribly awry...




This picture is also taken through a glass window, but NOT in our backyard thank goodness...see this furry friend?



This is Lily's-I'm-not-sure-about-this-he-doesn't-look-like-my-furry-friend-cat, Charley-that-I'm-used-to face...




You guessed it, we went to the zoo and it was Africa hot, but the grown ups seemed to be the only ones feeling the pain...Lily could've stayed there all day...





David thought it'd be funny to play cootchie-cootchie-coo with the tiger. Yes, he was actually tickling the tiger, talking to him like he was real and laughing like a 10 year old...too bad it got Lily's attention too. She's looking at him like he's crazy as I'm talking like a ventriloquist to act normal for the picture...






Take 2...my tickling of Lily's leg distracted her from his "hey tiger, you want a nice scratch right there where it feels good?". Yes, he is actually scratching wood.




One cool thing about having Lily at school with me is she gets to take impromptu visits to Aunt Jennifer's classroom which looks like Disney World...sometimes she visits with her class or sometimes just with me. Her favorite thing to do is play school like she's done it all her life.


like she is saying "Ok, everyone, here is today's lesson..."


pay attention people...






I think she thinks she owns the joint at school...her teacher takes daily pictures and occasional videos and sends them randomly to their missing mommas...here she is making sure all the bills are paid up to date...



miss kim told us that lily is such a creature of habit (coughcoughlikedavidcoughcough) that as soon as she is finished with her lunch, she grabs her blanket and starts to prepare her area for naptime - oh my cute.

and after many hours of jabbering on her cell phone (like her momma) she decides to call it quits... this is what we call "Hutch-----Out"...


and then refreshed and ready for dress up time...she looks like laura ingalls here...lol



and boy does she love her leah bug...insists on giving her kisses good-bye when we leave and leah goes to Lily to wake her up when naptime is over, they are buds...although right now they're in a bit of a love triangle with G-man, but I think they'll work through it...haha
(nice dress wy-ha)



Lily loves her teachers and has a special bond with Mrs. Kim thinking her lap has a reserved sign on it that reads "Lily Parking Only"...here she is following her every move while she's outside...



hanging with her other buds...I just love this smile she captured here of her happiness while socializing with the other kiddos. They all get along so well and the energy in the room is always so loving. She looks like she's in kindergarten here!


Being away from her during the day is hard, but knowing how loved she is by her teachers and friends gives me that warm fuzzy feeling...and seeing her run up to me at the end of the day like she's in a race to the finish line in a full-out smiling sprint makes my love cup overflow and pour onto the floor. (note to self: get that on video)

I can't believe she's ours.

Life is good!

September Milestones

I've been working on the monumental task of moving all of our home videos onto a DVD so we can watch them on the actual tv instead of us all huddled around the computer to see Lily growing up right before our eyes. When I was growing up, my family had regular family movie nights where we gathered in the living room, sleeping bags rolled out, popcorn flowing everywhere, filmstrip reel rolling like the olden days onto a full-on pop up screen that even a stand. There was no sound on our videos, but we all watched in excitement like there were imaginary subtitles. Our old video camera also had a large bright light so everyone was squinting anytime they came close to looking directly into the camera. ha It was such a fond memory growing up and I was determined to have the same memories for Lily. Because I was young everything seemed to be a larger than life production.

You would probably cry with me if you knew all the technical difficulties I have had in the process, but after many weeks of hurdles, I finally got all of her videos up to date all on DVD and we can have our own family movie nights where we stare in amazement at how far she's come. Lily watches herself , points and says "baby" over and over, but I don't think she's made the connection that it's actually her trying to roll over from tummy to back. So cute!!

Her milestones this month seem like it's in honor of her daddy because they're so many of them so I guess I'm chop liver this month. ha
I always marvel at how much I/we love Lily and every little thing she does but as she gets older, I'm overtaken with humble pride about how much she loves us. She shows it more and more everyday as she grows and I just stare in amazement how she gives back all of the time showing us her heart more and more, like her kisses where she actually grabs our cheeks and pulls us close for a smooch. I feel like melting each and everytime! Have I mentioned I love her heart? mmmm






Life is Good! :)

Big Shoes to Fill

Being picked to be a juror on a trial that has lasted almost 2 weeks (yes, u read that right) has left me little time with the long hours everyday, but has given me the greatest appreciation to how family friendly my job is in the school system. My job is really the best of both worlds alongwith all the warm fuzzies & daily hugs that I haven't been getting in the heated courtroom and miss desperately.

Here's another little someone I've missed too, but she doesn't know what time it is when I get home and literally stops in her tracks, her face lights up like a lightbulb, smiles from ear to ear and RUNS to my open arms! I wish I could replay it in slow motion because it's the best part of my day. (and big thanks to daddy for leaving work super early everyday to pick her up w/o ever complaining even a little and Aunt Jen for stepping in to get some extra 'head-smelling' time)

Here she is trying to be just like Grandma in her shoes. Are you kidding me with that ponytail? Be still my heart.





with my long lawyer-hours-without-the-lawyer-pay has made me up the ante with quality time with Lily hopping in on the fun to a place I have no business being...(ummmm, yes i know my booty is almost as big as the sandbox)




is it possible to have her wear a bonnet to her first day of kindergarten? What about prom? I think it'd be a hit. I just can't get enough of her in one...




and sliding down the slide on her own which I never dreamed she could even do until her teacher mentioned she did all of the time like it was a normal everyday thing; (big eyes) I guess it's time to let go that she's not a newborn anymore...I didn't get the memo she can hold her body upright and slide gleefully down the slide and it still surprises me when she does normal everyday things that all 17 months old do, but she still seems like a 7 month old to me sometimes...



and our sunshine on even the cloudiest long yelling-lawyer-objecting day...


can we please have a moment of silence for her first pair of Keds that I grew up on and thought I was so cool even though my mom wouldn't buy me Reebok hightops because they were too "trendy" (no cabbage patch kids for the same reason)

oh and they're purple and I wish she could wear them to bed I love them so much on her...oh, and just $3 buckaroos! Cha-ching!

(moment of silence begins)

(moment of silence over)

Feeling a little more grateful for my life when I have to exchange it temporarily for long days of intense civic duty that has lasted even longer than the judge expected and told us today we were one of the most patient jury teams he's ever worked with in 43 years! How about them apples?

(pounding gavel)

Case closed.

Life is Good!

Librarian Lily

Have I mentioned Lily is a little bookworm; or shall I say a BIG bookworm! She wants to read books from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep. Going to the library is like going to Disney World for her. If I had a quarter for every time she hands us a book, turns around and walks backward like she's a garbage truck going in reverse just to fall into our laps, I'd be a rich, rich woman.

See all those books? That's just round 1...

She actually kisses books and hugs them like a stuffed animal...
We'd be shut ins and Lily would never bathe or eat dinner if we never stopped her from reading books; we have to come up with plans to transition to something else where one swoops in with a distractor while the other gently puts books away so we don't have a sad little person...sometimes we even take them with us to avoid tears...

and she is one happy little person...



she doesn't even need clothes to enjoy a great bestseller...



maybe Lily could join a local baby book club where they meet for milk and cookies to share their favorites...

say cheese...


somehow she took off my headband I was wearing and she thought it was stylish - she looks like a kungfu fighter


if anyone stops by, she smells a new reader and will greet them with a book, then back up and fall into their laps


there's something really special about grandparents reading to their granddaughter - like they're imparting wisdom through a tale of "So Big"...


and before bedtime is probably everyone's favorite as she is freshly bathed, extra baby lotioned up, smelling delish in her footed jammies (even though it's 100 degrees outside) snuggling with her blanket as we all pile into bed together listening intently and she signs 'more' after every single book. I don't remember loving books as much as she did when I was a child, but am sure reliving and reloving children's books in a whole new way these days...


Life is Good!

Ooey-Gooey Goodness

Lily had a little visitor or 2...we weren't sure who was more excited...


David's parents are like a cake baking in the oven; you can smell and practically already taste the ooey-gooey goodness while it's baking...that's how we all felt when they were here


Lily was like a magnet to them; almost as she was saying 'I love you and have missed you and i know you're not going to be here for long so let's get to playing and loving as soon as possible' over and over. It was the sweetest sight...




and no your eyes are not deceiving you...we have pigtails people...




By the end of her trip, she was saying "PawPaw" for Larry and we all melted in the ooey gooey goodness...


She would pull them in all the fun around the clock...




and all the playing made her extra snuggly...here she is taking one of her power breaks where she stops what she's doing and has to lay down for a minute or so...she did it at the mall playground floor the other day. (followed by a full body sanitization)



She's becoming this extra snuggly little toddler lately and it's just an incredible feeling to be the one she chooses putting her arms straight up, looking up with her big blue eyes chanting 'ub, ub, ub'...







and they even brought her a brand new dress; what girl doesn't like to dress up and feel pretty?




she's always quite the waver like she's is in a neverending parade...





and another gift brought from her southern grandparents was a little outfit from their neck of the woods...a trip to Bass Pro Shops wouldn't be complete without a little yeehaw...


but don't worry, we "girly-d" it up


and even my young dad (ie JCPenny model) joined in on the fun...




There's nothing better or more important that being with family...

where the love tastes better than any homemade cake and is always unconditional sharing the ooey-gooey feeling with everyone...
Thank you for being who you are!


Life is Good! xoxo